Many parents exaggerate moral preaching. Some parents take advantage of every opportunity to preach to their child over and over again. In this way, he will find himself listening to a lecture workshop related to responsibility, personal discipline and safety at home.
For example: Ronnie (pseudonym) filled a glass with milk to drink. And while pouring, he did not notice that the glass was overflowing, and everything around him was dirty, a situation of great criticism, would bring him to a place of sorrow and regret at the thought of drinking at all…
Second, it is important that parents do not criticize in public. Insulting constitutes a real violation of the child’s dignity, penetrates the depths of his soul and undermines the personal security that every child so desperately needs. The Torah demands that words of rebuke be said, “Prove, rebuke.” But immediately it adds, “And you shall not bear a sin upon him.”. In other words, it is highly desirable not to rebuke the children in an insulting and offensive way while they are around other people. If they are on the street, in the garden, in the store. Or even at home when there are guests, try to hint or comment calmly.
Try to distance the child from his siblings, so as not to embarrass him in front of them. Us Parents, also don’t like to be embarrassed in front of other people. “What is hateful to you, do not do to your friend.”
And. There is a reaction called silence. Sometimes the most sensitive and effective response is to remain silent. Let’s go back to our little friend Ronnie from the beginning of this article. Ronnie looked at the spilled milk in sorrow. His mother noticed his reaction and gave him a cloth to wipe him with. She checked his clothes, to see that he did not need to change them. Ronnie wiped the spilled milk and again filled the glass properly. He looked at his mother and smiled. His gaze said, “Thank you, Mom, for not saying anything.” Mom smiled and continued her work.
The mother noticed his grief by spilling the milk. It was unintentional. There is no point in saying anything. Every comment will be accepted by him as unnecessary criticism and not as useful advice. But his mother’s silence left a strong impression on him. He appreciates her more. The bond with his mother grew stronger. Silence is sometimes worth gold.
And we’ll end with a story: A young man walks into a neighborhood store and asks the store owner if he can use his phone. The store owner nods in agreement and overhears, against his will, the young man’s conversation. The guy calls someone and asks him if he needs a gardener. On the other end of the line, apparently, the answer was that they had a gardener and that they didn’t need a gardener at the moment. The young man goes on to ask, “Is your gardener professional to your liking?” They are happy with their gardener, because the store owner hears the young man continue to nag them: “Would you be willing to consider replacing him in the future?” He thanked them politely and ended the conversation.
The store owner, who felt sorry for the young man and his stubborn attempts that did not succeed, turned to him and said: “Look, young man. I couldn’t help but listen to the conversation. I’m sorry for the negative answer you received, but listen to someone older than you. You sound very determined to me, and I’m sure that good days will come and you will have a lot of work.” The guy looked at him and said with a smile: “Thank you for your concern, but I’m actually very happy with the conversation. I’m the gardener of the family I just spoke to. It’s my way of making sure I’m doing my job faithfully.” A good word immediately does good. Parents need to express their appreciation directly to their children so that they don’t have to guess what they think of them
